Just Supposing – Part Three
By Nicola Ditty aka britwizz
PSR: Sequel to “Just Supposing – Part Two”. Taking things to the next level.
Disclaimer: Starsky & Hutch are not mine. If they were, do you think for one second I’d want to share them?
Warning: For mature audiences. THIS IS SLASH. Consider yourself warned!
Comments and feedback welcome. Share your thoughts with me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Individual title definitions hyperlinked to www.thefreedictionary.com
NOTE…PROFUSE APOLOGIES IF PAST COMMENTS WENT UNANSWERED…
I HAD BLOCKS IN MSN OF WHICH I WAS UNAWARE BUT THEY ARE NOW FIXED!
For those whose writings inspired me:
~ Dana Austin Marsh, Morgan Logan, Charlotte Frost and Flamingo ~
"Your past is important but it is not nearly as important to your present
as the way you see your future."
~ Tony Campolo ~
21. In The Final Analysis
My last first kiss was with Cyndy - two Ys - an ICU nurse. Funny how they all smoke…cheaper than valium, I suppose. Only, on our dates, she chewed gum. I did too, disguising the dog shit flavor of my meds.
We locked lips like a Wrigley’s commercial, Double Mint and Juicy Fruit - I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
Nothing like that here. Hutch’s lips are soft, sorta dry, and there’s that whole mustache thing happening.
His tongue slides sweetly over mine, his flavor’s light and clean…definitely my last first kiss.
This feels - he tastes - like a new beginning.
Disregarding daylight, we slept. Habit…need… Sheer exhaustion, I suppose.
I’m numb on waking. Paralyzed from neck to knee, wherever his body connects with mine. His head right here…his one arm there…his legs gripping my left thigh like a monorail train car. I am pinned in place, secured.
I should be scared shitless. Not of him, not even of this but…
Me…it’s me I fear. My want, my need is at the forefront of my mind now. And it’s dangerous.
Maybe he already knows. In his gentle restraint lies salvation. For both of us.
I know he’s awake - his breathing’s different. Funny the things you get to know about people, if you’re around them long enough. I suppose when you love someone enough, you pay attention to that stuff.
He’s not the most comfortable mattress in the world, but I can’t think of any other place I’d rather fall asleep, or wake up. His heart drums in my ear, and I feel his belly noises as vibrations in the palm of my hand.
Any minute now, he’s gonna want to get up…eat, pee…or just get away.
Like I’m gonna let that happen.
I’ve been here before, back when the future had a different definition.
A man I thought I knew, and knew I loved - or always supposed I did - I loved.
In every way.
I knew the length, breadth and heft of him in my hands, in my mouth, tasted the bitter-salted, warm meaty tang of him. Opened my body to him, for him. As he did, for me.
Later I learned that what I called love was nothing more than a great fuck. I want more, I want better. I want that...with this man.
Jack’s dead…and forever buried.
He jars me with his sigh. A test, to see if I’m awake, but is he?
Really? Suppose I try a little experiment, let my hand slide lower. Oh, yeah…he’s awake alright.
No pun intended but…how hard can this be? I feel the heat of him through the fabric of his pants. All I have to do is apply a little pressure and just the right rhythm. I’ve done it before, hundreds of times…
If I get it wrong the first time, with him, do I get a second chance?
I want to make this perfect.
Does he have any idea what he’s doing to me? Is the gentle rocking of my hips indication enough? Will he realize he’s supposed to take it as a compliment when I cum in my pants? Which will happen… Any minute now…
I could tell him these things, but this moment - this first time - is incomparable. Incredible. I am too far gone already, way beyond the power of speech. The words are there, all crowded together in my head, but the pressure for release is somewhere else entirely.
A shift… I gasp… The wave crests, breaks…
Sticky warmth spreads out under my hand and I smell bedroom scents - I’m turned on so bad I’m grinding against his leg like the neighbor’s dog.
I s’pose he doesn’t mind the mess, ’cause he scoots down until we’re face to face, applying mouth-to-mouth. He trails kisses down my neck, pulling my shirt up to reach my chest, my belly…
He slips lower, and I stop breathing; I’m dying. Again.
His mouth takes me, takes us somewhere new. The past’s passed. And, like this, maybe he’ll forget everything. Everyone.
You see…he talks in his sleep...
I’m supposed to know this man? A man I call partner, and buddy, and sometimes moron, dummy, or worse. Who just breathed my name and called me ‘lover’.
His articulate hands hush abruptly, muffled in my hair, but there’s rough reassurance in the scrape of his nails against my scalp.
I recognize his every expression…recognized - past tense.
I know his fresh-scrubbed morning clean, the tired sweat of bad days, worse nights. And now, this - his sex smell, raw and heady. Urgent.
Foreshadowing the taste of him.
Knees scraping the floor, I earn absolution for the sin of ignorance.
Not putting too fine a point on it but I think he just blew my mind.
Someone’s yelling…probably me. I suppose that’s why he lurches up off the floor and slams his mouth over mine - to shut me up. I feel my voice bouncing around in the space where my brain used to be. Just one word, over and over - don’t ask me what.
Minutes later, his lips ease up on mine. I feel his smile shape when we disconnect.
I think he’s laughing at my hunger, but he says, “Your Ma’s gonna be pissed. I mean…‘Jesus’, Starsk?”
I don’t think too hard about it, I can excuse what happened as a freak
occurrence. An impulse. And if you’re buying that,
there’s this beachfront property in
A kiss is just a kiss, a handjob doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But what I did was a calculated act - I saw an opportunity and took it.
So, feeding him his flavor on my tongue, I offer an ‘out’. He just kisses off his last chance. And, for me, there’s no going back.
I suppose I should’ve warned him. But nobody warned me that I’d want him so goddamned much.
Individual title definitions hyperlinked to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/
AND AGAIN…MY PROFUSE APOLOGIES IF YOUR PAST COMMENTS WENT UNANSWERED…
I HAD BLOCKS IN MY MSN ACCOUNT OF WHICH I WAS UNAWARE BUT THEY ARE NOW FIXED!