Dialup Access
Just
Supposing – Part Three
By
Nicola Ditty aka britwizz
PSR:
Sequel to “Just Supposing – Part Two”. Taking things to the next
level.
Disclaimer: Starsky & Hutch are not
mine. If they were, do you think
for one second I’d want to share them?
Warning: For mature audiences. THIS IS SLASH.
Consider yourself warned!
Comments
and feedback welcome. Share your thoughts with me at britwizz@msn.com
Individual
title definitions hyperlinked to www.thefreedictionary.com
NOTE…PROFUSE
APOLOGIES IF PAST COMMENTS WENT UNANSWERED…
I
HAD BLOCKS IN MSN OF WHICH I WAS UNAWARE BUT THEY ARE NOW
FIXED!
hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgh
For
those whose writings inspired me:
~
Dana Austin Marsh, Morgan Logan, Charlotte Frost and Flamingo ~
hghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghghgh
"Your
past is important but it is not nearly as important to your present
as
the way you see your future."
~
Tony Campolo ~
21. In The Final Analysis
My last
first kiss was with Cyndy - two Ys - an ICU nurse. Funny how they all smoke…cheaper than
valium, I suppose. Only, on our dates, she chewed gum. I did too, disguising the
dog shit flavor of my meds.
We locked
lips like a Wrigley’s commercial, Double Mint and Juicy Fruit - I guess it
wasn’t meant to be.
Nothing
like that here. Hutch’s
lips are soft, sorta dry, and there’s that whole mustache thing
happening.
His tongue
slides sweetly over mine, his flavor’s light and clean…definitely my last first
kiss.
This feels
- he tastes - like a new
beginning.
22. Eclipse
Disregarding
daylight, we slept. Habit…need… Sheer exhaustion, I
suppose.
I’m
numb on waking. Paralyzed from neck to knee, wherever his body
connects with mine. His head right here…his one arm there…his legs gripping my left thigh
like a monorail train car. I am pinned in place, secured.
And
secure.
I
should be scared shitless. Not of him, not even of this but…
Me…it’s
me I fear. My want, my need is at the forefront of my mind now. And it’s
dangerous.
Maybe
he already knows. In his gentle restraint lies salvation. For
both of us.
23. Prolepsis
I know he’s
awake - his breathing’s different. Funny the things you get to know about
people, if you’re around them long enough. I suppose when you love someone
enough, you pay attention to that stuff.
He’s not
the most comfortable mattress in the world, but I can’t think of any other place
I’d rather fall asleep, or wake up. His heart drums in my ear, and I feel his
belly noises as vibrations in the palm of my hand.
Any minute
now, he’s gonna want to get up…eat, pee…or just get away.
Like I’m
gonna let that happen.
24. Arcanum
I’ve
been here before, back when the future had a different
definition.
A
man I thought I knew, and knew I loved - or always supposed I did - I loved.
In
every way.
I
knew the length, breadth and heft of him in my hands, in my mouth, tasted the
bitter-salted, warm meaty tang of him. Opened my body to him,
for him. As he did, for
me.
Later
I learned that what I called love was nothing more than a great fuck. I want
more, I want better. I want that...with this man.
Jack’s
dead…and forever buried.
He jars me with his sigh. A test, to see if I’m awake, but is he?
Really? Suppose I
try a little experiment, let my hand slide lower. Oh, yeah…he’s awake
alright.
No pun
intended but…how hard can this be? I feel the heat of him through the fabric of
his pants. All I have to do is apply a little pressure and just the right
rhythm. I’ve done it before, hundreds of times…
To
me.
If I get it
wrong the first time, with him, do I get a second chance?
I want
to make this perfect.
26. Exigent
Oh,
Jesus…
Does
he have any idea what he’s doing to me? Is the gentle rocking of my hips
indication enough? Will he realize he’s supposed to take it as a compliment when
I cum in my pants? Which will happen… Any minute
now…
I
could tell him these things, but this moment - this first time - is
incomparable. Incredible. I am too far gone already,
way beyond the power of speech. The words are there, all crowded together in my
head, but the pressure for release is somewhere else
entirely.
A
shift… I gasp… The wave crests, breaks…
I’m
overwhelmed.
27. Emulous
He
yells…
Sticky
warmth spreads out under my hand and I smell bedroom scents - I’m turned on so
bad I’m grinding against his leg like the neighbor’s dog.
I s’pose he doesn’t mind the mess, ’cause he scoots down until
we’re face to face, applying mouth-to-mouth. He trails kisses down my neck,
pulling my shirt up to reach my chest, my belly…
He slips
lower, and I stop breathing; I’m dying. Again.
His mouth
takes me, takes us somewhere new. The past’s passed. And, like this, maybe he’ll
forget everything. Everyone.
You see…he
talks in his sleep...
28. Episteme
I’m
supposed to know this man? A man I call partner, and buddy, and sometimes moron,
dummy, or worse. Who just breathed my name and called me
‘lover’.
His articulate
hands hush abruptly, muffled in my hair, but there’s rough reassurance in the
scrape of his nails against my scalp.
I
recognize his every expression…recognized - past tense.
I
know his fresh-scrubbed morning clean, the tired sweat of bad days, worse
nights. And now, this - his sex smell, raw and heady.
Urgent.
Foreshadowing
the taste of him.
Knees
scraping the floor, I earn absolution for the sin of
ignorance.
29.
Proselyte
Not putting
too fine a point on it but I think he just blew my
mind.
Someone’s
yelling…probably me. I suppose that’s why he lurches up off the floor and slams
his mouth over mine - to shut me up. I feel my voice bouncing around in the
space where my brain used to be. Just one word, over and over - don’t ask me
what.
Minutes
later, his lips ease up on mine. I feel his smile shape when we
disconnect.
I think
he’s laughing at my hunger, but he says, “Your Ma’s gonna be pissed. I mean…‘Jesus’,
Starsk?”
If
I don’t think too hard about it, I can excuse what happened as a freak
occurrence. An impulse. And if you’re buying that,
there’s this beachfront property in
A
kiss is just a kiss, a handjob doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But what I did
was a calculated act - I saw an opportunity and took it.
So,
feeding him his flavor on my tongue, I offer an ‘out’. He just kisses off his
last chance. And, for me, there’s no going back.
I
suppose I should’ve warned him. But nobody warned me that I’d want him so goddamned
much.
ghghghghgh
Individual
title definitions hyperlinked to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/
AND
AGAIN…MY PROFUSE APOLOGIES IF YOUR PAST COMMENTS WENT
UNANSWERED…
I
HAD BLOCKS IN MY MSN ACCOUNT OF WHICH I WAS UNAWARE BUT THEY ARE NOW
FIXED!